I Can See Christina Ricci’s Nipples Right Now

Posted By: Shawn On: August 27, 2008
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I just talked some chick into getting naked for me on her webcam. I promised her I wouldn’t hit ‘Print Screen’ to save the images and for some reason I wasn’t lying. I feel like I let you folks down because I know you would have enjoyed checking out naked pictures of this chick. Plus, I really like writing the word EXCLUSIVE on things and I missed a real opportunity here. She didn’t get freaky or anything but she did get totally naked. She told me she had to go because she was taking a shower and I, over the course of about thirty minutes, talked her into showing me her boobs, first, then her goods. It was pretty awesome. I’m going to eat some cookies now and drink a Corona so I can think about what just happened and how much of a failure I am for not documenting it. You can sit back and enjoy these photos of Christina Ricci’s nipples while I sulk.

Fun With Drugs: Some Soap star got busted with cocaine at the airport
Jessica Biel is kinda going downhill in the looks department
DeAnna Pappas is some semi-famous hottie in a bikini
Jailbait: Shawn Johnson shows off her medal and her legs
Venessa Minnillo is looking pretty hot and very desperate

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Boobs

Tags: Christina Ricci, Pokies

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Sophie Monk Keeps The No Bra Train Running

Posted By: Shawn On: August 5, 2008
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I love when girls neglect to wear bras. I don’t care if it’s intentional or unintentional or whatever. Sophie Monk is up there with the best of them. She looks like she’s sneaking some erasers under her shirt or something. I can’t say I blame these bitches. On a hot day, I feel like taking my shirt off from time to time and if it weren’t for my bizarrely thick chest hair, I might make that move from time to time. Whatever keeps these ladies doing this, I hope it continues. Enjoy these photos of Sophie Monk wandering around LA, showing you her nipples. Then, you should click my links because they are better than yours.

More photos of that hot chick from Danity Kane kissing girls
Cassie is rocking a mean cameltoe in this useless photoshoot
Scarlett Johansson still has some really massive boobs
More info about the Pineapple Express movie I’m watching tonight
What in the name of God is this old bitch wearing?

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, Meet The V-Listers

Tags: Pokies, Sophie Monk

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Lisa Rinna Rocks A Batman Shirt Commando

Posted By: Shawn On: August 5, 2008
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I’m invited to the premiere of Pineapple Express tonight. It’s a new movie about pot smokers starring Seth Rogen from ‘Knocked Up’ and a bunch of other movies. You can see the trailer here but, take my word for it, it looks funny as hell. I haven’t been to the theater since the premiere of Batman: Dark Knight so, unfortunately for Mr. Rogen and his co-star James Franco, this film has a tough act to follow. The scene in the trailer for Pineapple Express where James Franco and Seth Rogen are in the police car and the front window is shattered, making it tough to see anything, is hilarious. Franco kicks the windshield out but instead of shattering it, his foot makes a perfect hole and his leg gets stuck. I can’t tell you why but that part kills me. It should be a killer flick and I’ll give you bastards a full review tomorrow. Until then, enjoy these photos of Lisa Rinna with no bra on.

It’s Over: Pink is now officially the ugliest bitch alive
Aubrey O’Day from Danity Kane is totally making out with some chick
I’m Not Alone: Gawker rips Tucker Max’s terrible script to threads
Kim Kardashian is lookin’ super emo at the Teen Choice Awards
Rihanna shows off her gigantic ass in a hot tub

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, Wait, She's Not Dead?

Tags: Lisa Rinna, Pokies

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Jennifer Aniston Puts Her Wonky Jugs On Display

Posted By: Shawn On: July 17, 2008
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Getting a good look at some chick’s boobs for the first time is a risky venture. I can’t count the number of times I dated a girl just because she had an impressive rack only to discover it was a disaster area when she disrobed. There are so few perfect, natural racks out there that it’s almost like finding a priceless ancient statue or something. When you get a chick with a decent rack, you hang on to them until you get bored and find a decent replacement rack. I remember growing up with my best friend, at the time, Bryan and he was dating this girl Kathy for the longest time. He lost his virginity to her and everything. I was still a virgin at the time and I not only hated him for it but I fantasized about his chick on a daily basis. Until one day when Bryan, Kathy and I all hit the beach and a rogue wave knocked her top off. Kathy’s boobs looked like flattened road cones. It was not a pretty sight and I never fantasized about her after that. Jennifer Aniston sued me once and it makes me happy that her boobs look almost as wonky as Kathy’s.

This deleted scene from ‘Step Brothers’ is freaking hilarious
Venessa Hudgens is pretty sexy on the beach with some douche
Two Days In A Row: Kirsten Dunst is still lookin’ good
Carrie Underwood has some smoking hot legs for you to eyeball
iTunes doesn’t want you to smoke or watch anyone that does

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Boobs

Tags: Jennifer Aniston, Pokies

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Halle Berry Walks Around Beverly Hills Braless

Posted By: Shawn On: July 17, 2008
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I have this sinking feeling that Halle Berry is genuinely crazy. I don’t get that feeling often but when I do my assumptions are almost always correct. You see, a few years back I was dating this crazy chick named Jess except that I didn’t know that she was crazy. One time, after work, I told her I was going to hit the bar with a few friends and I’d be back later. We were living at the same house at the time and I needed some fresh air and strong drinks. She started going bananas and told me the idea that I would go out and leave her at the house was ‘ridiculous’ and that’s when I told her what was ‘ridiculous’ was how fat her ass was getting. She punched me in the face like three times in rapid fashion and I headed for the kitchen. I figured I’d just jump into my car and head off to meet my friends but she grabbed a big kitchen knife and started after me. I hauled ass and never turned around. I left my clothes, shoes, a television and everything else I owned at her house and never spoke to her again. These days, I hear, she’s banging some really old dude who drives a BMW. Halle Berry has that same I’m-about-to-stab-your-ass look as Jess did.

Michael Jordan is banging this hot Cuban model named Yvette Prieto
Someone Bite The Bullet: Kirsten Dunst needs a man, badly
Bud Bundy has now resorted to walking dogs for a living
The hottest chicks at the ESPY Awards are all in one place
Katherine Heigl is still looking pretty hot for a total bitch

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Boobs

Tags: Halle Berry, Pokies

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Pamela Anderson Looks Slutty Doing PETA Stuff

Posted By: Shawn On: July 10, 2008
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Apparently, I’m a complete and total jackass and this post was sitting unfinished with no links or text for about 2 hours. That just goes to show you what kind of shape I’m in today. It’s been a really long day and I’m beginning to think that something is medically wrong with me. It’s not the drinking or hard living that’s getting to me yet, I think it’s something else. There’s no solid reason why I should be completely out of breath after one flight of stairs but I am. My mother, who just so happens to be a nurse, thinks I have thyroid problems and I may need some kind of crazy ass radiation treatment. I’ll take some freaky pills and I can’t kiss anyone or use any silverware or cups that anyone else will be using for thirty days. That doesn’t sound like much fun and I just so happen to look at doctors a bit like I look at car mechanics so I’m hesitant to check in. One thing’s for sure, if I come up with Hepatitis I’m heading to Australia and beating Pamela Anderson unconscious with chicken wings. Take that PETA.

Check out these Lindsay Lohan magazine photoshoot outtakes
Definitive Proof: Christina Aguilera always wears gray and white
Attention Stalkers: You can buy Lindsay Lohan’s leggings online
Katy Perry keeps hiding her boobs but I can tell they’re massive
Ashley Tisdale is breaking the law because she’s super hot

Posted in: Celebrity Train Wrecks, What A Jackass

Tags: pamela anderson, Pokies

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Mariah Carey Ditches Her Bra In The Summer Heat

Posted By: Shawn On: June 30, 2008
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There are fleas all over my house. It’s like an invasion. I’ve been dealing with this since I got my stupid Mexican dog. We’ve bombed the house twice, used carpet treatments, given flea baths and even bought expensive flea medication and the bastards just won’t give up. I think I’m dealing with some kind of hybrid flea here and I feel like they’re mocking me as I try to kill them. They only place free of fleas seems to be the bathtub so I think I will report from here for the rest of the day. I’m taking it easy all day long and watching the BBC documentay ‘Wild China’ which is totally awesome. I thought it was about time to do some work and explain why I was in my bath tub in case someone stumbles into my house. Enjoy these photos of Mariah Carey sans-bra snapped over the weekend.