Megan Fox Is Hot In Maxim Magazine

Posted By: Shawn On: September 12, 2008
Commented on 0 times

Shawn is a FAIL at life. Seriously. Waste of breath and liquor for that matter. Lately, he’s been slacking hard core and I’ve had to step up. I am out there finding the pictures of cleavage, boobs, crotches, upskirts, invisible thongs (ahem, thanks Jessica Simpson) and more. Where’s he been? Oh, I dunno, on his couch with his little Mexican dog and stupid cat playing Wii, drinking beer and asking every chick he sees to ‘pick up the pen’ that he strategically dropped near his bar stool. Not Fair. I am taking over today. I am sick and tired of this lame ass attitude towards knockers and such. It’s important stuff. Megan Fox was in Maxim again and I had to show you. She’s hot. I would make out with her or at least ask her if I could touch her boobs because there’s no way they are real. It also helps that we share the same name. Check out her pics and click on my links so I can prove to Shawn that it only takes a little effort to make you happy.

With Love, Meg

Amy Winehouse is an amazing DJ when you are wasted off your ass
Holy Crap…this iceberg looks like a wiener
It’s about time - Jessica Alba is into bondage
Katharine McPhee wants you to stare into her eyes, but her boobs are hotter
I can totally see Lida Rinna’s old nipples

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Goods

Tags: Maxim, megan fox

Permalink
Leave a Comment

Kristen Bell Looks Hot In The French Maxim

Posted By: Shawn On: August 24, 2008
Commented on 1 times

Kristen Bell is that one chick from Gossip Girl. I wouldn’t know unless I Googled it because I don’t watch Gossip Girl. In fact, I’m not sure how the CW stays in business because I don’t know anyone else who watches any of their shows either. I’ve yet to watch a single episode of One Tree Hill, Smallville, Reaper, Privileged, Supernatural, Everybody Hates Chris or Aliens In America. I hadn’t even heard of half those shows before the last sentence. They have the WWE but I haven’t watched that crap in ten years or so. Seriously, I could live with nothing more than news, Family Guy, American Dad, Venture Brothers and some reality TV now and then. Oh yeah, and Jeopardy. I love Jeopardy. Oh, and those old episodes of Family Feud where Richard Dawson basically made out with the hot female contestants. Everything else can go to hell.

What in the name of God is going on in these random Heidi Montag photos
WTF? Kidz Bop covers ‘Lollipop’ by Lil Wayne to create hookers
The U.S. got more Olympic medals than China but they got more gold
Rotten Tomatoes: What in the hell happened to Shannon Elizabeth?
Nicky Hilton is looking pretty damn hot in these bikini photos

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, Fashion Statements

Tags: Kristen Bell, Lingerie, Maxim

Permalink
Leave a Comment

Joanna Krupa Is In September’s German Maxim

Posted By: Shawn On: August 7, 2008
Commented on 0 times

Apparently there’s this place in Illinois where you can go to rehab for Internet addiction. This whole Internet addiction talk is a little crazy because I don’t remember people talking the same way about cable television or the telephone or anything else that people enjoy and overuse. Why are they singling out the Internet? I feel a bit like I’m an alcohol salesman and there’s an impending prohibition. Though, if there were some sort of internet prohibition, it might be cool to play the outlaw for a while. I’ll totally keep posting hot chicks in bikinis and ducking the law men. That would be awesome. Ah, I digress, back to the Maxim spread. Enjoy these photos of Joanna Krupa in the September issue of Maxim Germany and keep coming back for more.

Forever The Sickest Kids are the buzz band of the day
Joss Stone is actually a lot cooler than we give her credit for
That one chick from The Wonder Years is still alive, still sexy
Lil Jon is on the loose and he’s still crunk whatever that means
Still Crazy: Britney Spears looks like she’s zonked out again

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, Meet The V-Listers

Tags: Joanna Krupa, Maxim

Permalink
Leave a Comment

Valeria Archimo Is So Hot It Should Be Illegal

Posted By: Shawn On: August 5, 2008
Commented on 0 times

I haven’t done any laundry in four months. Seriously, for four months straight I have done no laundry whatsoever. I look around on the floor of my room around my inflatable bed for something that looks remotely clean and I toss it in the dryer until it’s nice and warm and unwrinkled. I think people are beginning to notice. I only have so many combinations that work at this point. I have two pairs of jeans and two pairs of shorts that are still semi-clean. I also have a rotation of about seven shirts that I can still mix and match with those shorts and jeans. I would do my laundry but my life has been a bit of a whirlwind for the last few months and I just haven’t had the time. Now it’s getting so bad that I’m going to have to buy a whole new wardrobe to stay afloat. Maybe I’ll cave in this weekend and spend Saturday doing laundry. Maybe not. Check out these photos of some smoking hot chick named Valeria Archimo from this month’s Spanish Maxim.

No one wants Benji Madden’s autograph anymore
This is the biggest cheeseburger that you will ever see in your life
Call Off The Search: Dolly Parton is still alive, still has an enormous rack
Robert Downey Jr. is the man and this story proves that
Ed Norton has to go through security three times at LAX

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, Meet The V-Listers

Tags: Maxim, Valeria Archimo

Permalink
Leave a Comment

Nastya Zadorozhnaya Is In The Russian Maxim

Posted By: Shawn On: July 24, 2008
Commented on 0 times

Besides having a pretty much unpronounceable name, Nastya Zadorozhnaya is some sort of Russian actress that no one outside of Russia has ever heard of. I’ve only hung out with one Russian chick in my entire life and if the rest of these chicks are like she was, they’re all ridiculous. Her name was, oddly enough, Jane. I don’t know if that was her American name or whatever but that’s what everyone called her. She wasn’t just a little bit Russian or anything - she was like fresh off the boat Russian. When her Mom would call my house it was impossible to tell what the hell she was saying in her broken English on an international call from the foot of Mount Elbrus. So Jane was like that one crazy chick at the party who you befriend early because she’s nice and you know damn well she’ll be getting drunk and naked with someone before the night is over. She could drink an entire bottle of Arsenyevitch Smirnov’s finest spirits and still drive straighter than an arrow. I never nailed her but I tried once and she threw up all over my lap. I guess they’re into that stuff in Russia. Anyhow check out these photos of, deep breath, Nastya Zadorozhnaya and I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow.

If you aren’t listening to 3oh!3 yet, you should be shot and killed
Fergie is the ‘unsure’ chick in those old school Sure commercials
These photos from Comic Con in San Diego are beyond hilarious
I’m With Ya, Bitch: Lindsay Lohan is still drinkin’ like a fish
My God, Holly Madison seriously has some amazing hooters

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, Meet The V-Listers

Tags: Maxim, Nastya Zadorozhnaya

Permalink
Leave a Comment

Keeley Hazell Is Ridiculously Hot In Maxim France

Posted By: Shawn On: July 8, 2008
Commented on 0 times

There are two women on this planet that prove the idea that any super hot chick can be famous if she plays her cards right. Pamela Anderson is one and Keeley Hazell is the other. Essentially, they’ve lived the same exact life. They’ve both had slutty sex tapes and they both have absolutely no talent. They both have huge boobs and, even though Keeley Hazell says her jugs are real, they’re both fake. Keeley also said she was a virgin after her sex tape leaked. Clearly, she’s a lying bitch. So in two separate cases two smokin’ hot chicks with no discernible talent have made themselves famous. Then again, I know a bunch of chicks that are at least as hot and they are working jobs like Hooters waitress and prostitute. Not much in the way of health care insurance at those gigs. Enjoy these photos of Keeley Hazell looking ridiculously hot in the August issue of Maxim France.

Arrest Her: Hilary Duff is buying alcohol and she’s only 20-years-old
Dita Von Teese is at some random poker event looking sexy
Someone is paying those ugly bastards in Nickelback more money
Sacha Baron Cohen rigging a fighting match and made out with dudes
A crazy Marilyn Manson fan ripped off his hat and he’s bald

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Boobs, I See Your Goods

Tags: Keeley Hazell, Maxim

Permalink
Leave a Comment

Brooke Hogan Is Doable In The August Maxim

Posted By: Shawn On: June 25, 2008
Commented on 2 times

Hulk Hogan is the new Joe Simpson. They both totally act like they want to do their daughters. You’ve seen them do creepy things like cover their daughters in suntan lotion or talk about their boobs to the press. On another level I don’t know how I would deal with a hot ass daughter. What if I looked at her and saw the same thing that a zillion other dudes saw that turned them on? That would be creepy. I can tell you first hand that not only is Brooke Hogan not hot in person, she’s downright weird looking. I met her about a year ago and she’s over 6 feet tall and she wears a ton of makeup. There’s something about big ass girls that really turns me off. Brooke Hogan is one of the least feminine women I have ever met. Still, she looks hot in these Maxim photos that come out next month.