Posted By: Shawn
On: November 18, 2008
Commented on 0 times
I have watched three full seasons of The Office over the past three weeks. Marissa Miller looks weird. She doesn’t have any lips and her fake tan is too orange.
That’s what she said.
With Love, Meg
Posted in:
Fashion Statements
Tags: Marissa Miller
Posted By: Shawn
On: November 5, 2008
Commented on 0 times
Sooo… I just heard from Shawn. Looks like he’s even further north than you or I would have guessed…
—–Original Message—–
From: Shawn
Sent: Wed 11/5/2008 9:45 AM
To: Meghan
Subject: RE:The train-ride-adventure was not all it was cracked up to be. It turns out that standing in a 4×4 space with a guy who consistently smells like grandpa’s whisky is actually quite lame. I escaped the company of that freak a few days back and headed to Virginia where I have some close friends. I feel like complete ass right now because I had the bright idea to ignore the election and opt for an eating competition. My buddy said he could eat an entire Grande Meal from Taco Bell and I didn’t believe him. Several bottles of liquor later, there were four of us attempting do eat Taco Bell’s largest combo-meal. To keep things fair we all had the same line-up: four hard tacos, four soft tacos and two bean burritos. Two tacos in, I was performing amazingly. I wasn’t in first place but my buddy is a big fat guy so you should still be impressed. I ate another taco. Then, on to the tough stuff. One bean burrito is equivalent to at least 2 tacos in my book and it really slowed me down. Another taco down the hatch. At this point, one of my buddies looks over at me with this wounded expression and says ‘I am no longer enjoying eating’. When all was said and done, I ate 5 tacos and a bean burrito — a pretty impressive score if I do say so myself. My fat friend was the victor. He ate the whole damn Grande Meal and, just to celebrate being a fatass, he had a Chipwich to seal the deal. Needless to say, after all that Taco Bell, I’m not feeling so fantastic today but I will try to soldier on.
Yours,
Shawn
I want Taco Bell and a body like Miranda’s.
With Love, Meg
Posted in:
Fashion Statements, I See Your Goods
Tags: Lingerie, Marissa Miller, Miranda Ker
Posted By: Shawn
On: October 9, 2008
Commented on 0 times
The cat will die soon. This cat I speak of, he belongs to my roommate. His name is Eli and I think I’ve talked about him before. He is a demon cat. He has clawed, scratched and attacked me more times than I can count. I don’t know how to fight a cat yet, I don’t know the proper lines of attack or ethics of the matter, but I will soon enough. I will battle Eli. It will be an epic battle of man vs. beast (remember that TV show!) that will ultimately be won by man. Unless I’m wasted. Then, there’s an inside chance that the beast may win an maul my face. In fact, it’s probably more of a crapshoot even if I’m not wasted. But the odds are on my side and I’m a bettin’ man. So, if you’re reading this Eli, just know that I’m coming. It could be today, tomorrow or next year. Watch your back bitch. In other news! Check out these photos of Marissa Miller looking all hot-like in Esquire on a motorcycle while I start training like Rocky Balboa in Rocky V.

Take THIS Holly: Hugh Hefner’s new bitches are twins! Naked twins! (NSFW)
Again, the guy in this story is a douche, send him hatemail
I had no idea famous lesbians could hold sex toys for ransom
“We just sat there as they raped him — over and over again”
Kim Kardashian gets her nails done as she prepares for her next sex tape
Posted in:
Daily Eye Candy, Fashion Statements
Tags: Esquire, Marissa Miller
Posted By: Shawn
On: July 6, 2008
Commented on 0 times
These scans are from the August issue of GQ Magazine which doesn’t hit the newsstands for weeks. Marisa Miller looks as hot as I’ve ever seen her in this spread. It’s genius. I was just about to bolt to the cookout when I saw these and had to post them immediately. You can thank me later. Or now. Send me an email. Asshole. So I hear this chick Samantha is supposed to be at this shindig and I haven’t seen her in four years. Last time we talked to each other we got really wasted and she made out with me in the bathroom with her husband in the next room. Homeboy is genuinely crazy and he carries around guns wherever he goes. Since I don’t know if she got real honest one of these nights when they both dropped ecstasy and told his ass, I’m keeping my distance. If you don’t hear from me tomorrow, I was executed after hiding behind the keg at a cookout in South Florida. Seriously, I’m going talk her into sleeping with me this time around.

Here is the movie trailer for the straight-to-DVD Lost Boys II
Nicole Richie got booted out of the Hard Rock last night
It looks like A-Rod and Madonna were really banging each other
Hancock, Wall-E and Wanted - 1,2,3 at the box office this weekend
Drew Carey sucks balls and he’s ruining The Price Is Right
Posted in:
Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Boobs
Tags: GQ, Marissa Miller
