Posted By: Shawn On: August 19, 2008
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I guess the new season of The Hills started last night but I really wouldn’t know because I was busy trying to keep my TV from blowing away. Plus, I was so tanked by the time that show came on last night I probably wouldn’t have remembered it if I did watch. I just took a nap for about three hours and I woke up to some lady molesting a zebra. It was some creepy ass show about rehabilitating animals and this bitch had like 4 or 5 zebras running around her house like they were little kids or something. She fed them from bottles and grab their genitalia. Let’s just say, it didn’t look like a healthy relationship. However, I cannot tell a lie, if she were to have started getting it on with a zebra or two I would have been watching like a hawk. With all this and more in mind I’m heading off to the bar and I promise I will post loads of hot chicks and funny stories tomorrow.

If you missed The Hills you can watch the whores in action here
More hot pictures of Kate Beckinsale in an orange bikini
Freak: Check out this badass cat that has four ears
That Nicole chick from the Pussycat Dolls looks amazing
Awesome: Check out the trailer for Monsters Vs. Aliens

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Boobs

Tags: Lauren Conrad, The Hills

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Posted By: Shawn On: July 10, 2008
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I’m no big fan of the ‘Hills’ but it seems like everyone else is. I feel like I know these hookers at this point because every other day I post a photo of Audrina Patridge or Lauren Conrad looking sexy, somewhere. At this point, I’ve seen most of those chicks naked in one form or another. Audrina Patridge had those Playboy test shots that everyone went nuts over but I haven’t seen much in the way of skin from this Lauren Conrad girl. These photos, snapped last night, show a drunken Conrad unaware that the entire free world is trying to photograph an epic nip slip. Her boobs are unimpressive and remind me of the one time I went to the cheapest strip club in town. It was called ‘Showgirls’ and the feature dancer was pregnant and had no teeth. There was this one Asian chick who stripped and had floppy boobs just like Lauren. Then she came around and asked every guy in the place (all three of us) if we wanted to ‘contribute to her show’. I told her if that was a ’show’ I want my money back. I got kicked out immediately and my ride stayed inside to finish off his hand-job/lap dance. It’s amazing what $20 can get you in a sleezy strip club. Anyhow, that chick had floppy boobs just like Lauren Conrad.

OMFG: Michael Jackson keep upping that crazy meter more and more
That old chick dude from the band Hanson had some offspring yesterday
Seriously?: Does Christina Aguilera wear anything besides gray and white
Still Crazy: Dave Chappelle is a no-show at a fundraiser
Can’t Believe I’m Typing This: Celine Dion’s hot ass in a bikini

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Boobs

Tags: Lauren Conrad, The Hills

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Posted By: Shawn On: July 4, 2008
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Last night was an adventure. I was hanging out with this girl I know and she locked her keys in her car. Not only were her lights on, which eventually ran down her battery, but her house key was locked in there as well so she couldn’t get the spare key that she hides in her kitchen. She was helpless until I informed her that I was both a genius and former criminal and I could most certainly solve her quandary. Her apartment is in the middle of the city and it happens to be on a very high second floor so it wasn’t like we could pick her lock or anything. You have to have a key to even get into the building to get to her door so we were screwed there. We were at the radio station so there were some really big conversion vans available so I found a gigantic ladder and tossed it in the back of one. We drove to her apartment building in the city and I took out the giant ladder. I climbed to the very top and then jumped off onto a ledge where I could bust into her window and grab the keys from the kitchen. Then, I jumped her car and saved the day. I’m pretty much a hero. Lauren Conrad didn’t do anything even close to the super-human stuff I did last night. She got wasted in Hollywood and here are the photos. Oh yeah, Happy Fourth of July, bitches

More Awesome: Yet Another Cool Leaked Scene From Batman Dark Knight
This Spanish chick is famous and she has an amazing body so click
Kim Kardashian’s monster ass looks downright bizarre in Hollywood
Shauna Sand takes to the streets once again with her cigarettes
Good News: Christina Applegate is single. Bad News: Her boyfriend is dead.

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Goods, Meet The V-Listers

Tags: Drunk, Hills, Lauren Conrad

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