Posted By: Shawn On: October 1, 2008
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I did it. Last night, I went to the bar and ordered a glass of Captain. No Coke. I have officially graduated beyond drinking Captain and Coke and I am now simply drinking Captain. However, today I seem to have some amazingly terrible heartburn and I’m thinking this isn’t a very good idea. Actually, I’m thinking about scaling back to just beer or something. I must be destroying my body at a pretty rapid pace these days and I need to pull back on the reigns a bit. Focusing more on women and less on vomiting on them might be a good idea. Yeah, totally threw up on a chick last night. I’ll give you the embarrassing details after lunch. That way we can all enjoy our Wednesday a little more. To make it even better, check out these photos of Jennifer Aniston in a bikini and click my links.

Those bitches from The Hills are at it again with less clothes
My God. These bitches are on FIRE. So hot.
Eminem is no longer fat and he’s coming out with a new album
Jesse Jane is one of my personal favorites…
Something terrible happened to Jennifer lopez’s face. Someone help her.

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, VS Bikini Madness

Tags: Bikini, Jennifer Aniston

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Posted By: Shawn On: September 29, 2008
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That chick Meg was going to help me again today as I try to stay alive and post here on Vanity Spy at the same time. She wasn’t able to help because she got all famous after writing for my site. I don’t get it. I deliver like a freaking champion every day and I get nothing and she writes a couple posts for you freaks and she gets to be the Official Hills blogger for MTV or something. At some point, you bastards or going to have to vote for her. You don’t have to watch the show or anything, just vote. Then, when she wins the contest and gets to go to Hollywood (it’s between her and one other chick) I will get wasted and tag along. I can get some sweet upskirt shots of The Hills cast before I get wasted at the open bar and the bouncers kick me out for grabbing Lauren Conrad’s sweet, sweet ass. Enjoy these completely unrelated pictures of Jennifer Aniston in a green bikini while I wonder why I can’t get a God damn break.

Hey! Kendra Wilkinson wants attention! Here are her boobs!
Sarah Palin is looking pretty sexy in this swimsuit video
Jessica Simpson will be the demise of Tony Romo and the Cowboys
This chick is hot. I have said enough.
Travis ‘plane crash’ Barker is out of the hospital now

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, VS Bikini Madness

Tags: Bikini, Jennifer Aniston

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Posted By: Shawn On: September 11, 2008
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I can’t believe it’s been seven years since 9/11. I feel really old thinking about that. I was just a 20-year-old guy with no job and an internship at a radio station back then. I remember how chaotic everything was. MSNBC is replaying all of their coverage from September 11, 2001 right now and it’s amazing to see how many crappy, erroneous reports were being treated like fact that day. There were bombs here and explosions there — except there weren’t, really. Seven years, that seems crazy. I’m not sure where Jennifer Aniston was on that day but I don’t suspect her to be a member of Al Qaeda so she gets a pass. Her crotch, however, should be looked at closely for any ties to terrorist entities. Do your part. Be vigilant. On this anniversary of September 11, 2001, the seventh thus far, peer deeply into Jennifer Aniston’s crotch and look for evil. Then, click my links.

Jessica Simpson wants to get in the mix and show us her ass
OMG: What the hell happened to Janet Jackson. Nevermind.
Anna Nicole Smith’s kid is still being sold by that Birkhead dude
Is P Diddy getting paid for these dumb ass Internet videos?
The biggest douche in the world was on the radio today

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Goods

Tags: Crotch Shot, Jennifer Aniston

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Posted By: Shawn On: July 17, 2008
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Getting a good look at some chick’s boobs for the first time is a risky venture. I can’t count the number of times I dated a girl just because she had an impressive rack only to discover it was a disaster area when she disrobed. There are so few perfect, natural racks out there that it’s almost like finding a priceless ancient statue or something. When you get a chick with a decent rack, you hang on to them until you get bored and find a decent replacement rack. I remember growing up with my best friend, at the time, Bryan and he was dating this girl Kathy for the longest time. He lost his virginity to her and everything. I was still a virgin at the time and I not only hated him for it but I fantasized about his chick on a daily basis. Until one day when Bryan, Kathy and I all hit the beach and a rogue wave knocked her top off. Kathy’s boobs looked like flattened road cones. It was not a pretty sight and I never fantasized about her after that. Jennifer Aniston sued me once and it makes me happy that her boobs look almost as wonky as Kathy’s.

This deleted scene from ‘Step Brothers’ is freaking hilarious
Venessa Hudgens is pretty sexy on the beach with some douche
Two Days In A Row: Kirsten Dunst is still lookin’ good
Carrie Underwood has some smoking hot legs for you to eyeball
iTunes doesn’t want you to smoke or watch anyone that does

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Boobs

Tags: Jennifer Aniston, Pokies

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Posted By: Shawn On: June 2, 2008
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Jennifer Aniston is supposedly really boring in person. That’s why every dude she ends up banging eventually runs like the wind. This fact blows me away because I never thought that a woman could be so boring that she was no longer hot. Or that her boringness would at least make me think of her as less attractive than she actually is. To be honest, she could be mute and I wouldn’t care. Then again, the bitch did sue me one time. But still, I’d hit it. More photos of Jennifer ‘I like to sue people for posting topless photos of me on the Internet’ Aniston hanging out in Malibu yesterday below.

Why do I feel like I have been stalking Shauna Sand?
Frazier had a heart attack in Hawaii. - Was it Helen Hunt?
Lindsay Lohan flashes her goods for the world to see
Hayden Panettiere is still hot in case you were wondering
Linda Hogan is whoring it up with a 19-year-old guy

Posted in: I See Your Boobs

Tags: Jennifer Aniston, No Bra

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