Posted By: Shawn On: July 4, 2008
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Last night was an adventure. I was hanging out with this girl I know and she locked her keys in her car. Not only were her lights on, which eventually ran down her battery, but her house key was locked in there as well so she couldn’t get the spare key that she hides in her kitchen. She was helpless until I informed her that I was both a genius and former criminal and I could most certainly solve her quandary. Her apartment is in the middle of the city and it happens to be on a very high second floor so it wasn’t like we could pick her lock or anything. You have to have a key to even get into the building to get to her door so we were screwed there. We were at the radio station so there were some really big conversion vans available so I found a gigantic ladder and tossed it in the back of one. We drove to her apartment building in the city and I took out the giant ladder. I climbed to the very top and then jumped off onto a ledge where I could bust into her window and grab the keys from the kitchen. Then, I jumped her car and saved the day. I’m pretty much a hero. Lauren Conrad didn’t do anything even close to the super-human stuff I did last night. She got wasted in Hollywood and here are the photos. Oh yeah, Happy Fourth of July, bitches

More Awesome: Yet Another Cool Leaked Scene From Batman Dark Knight
This Spanish chick is famous and she has an amazing body so click
Kim Kardashian’s monster ass looks downright bizarre in Hollywood
Shauna Sand takes to the streets once again with her cigarettes
Good News: Christina Applegate is single. Bad News: Her boyfriend is dead.

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Goods, Meet The V-Listers

Tags: Drunk, Hills, Lauren Conrad

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Posted By: Shawn On: May 29, 2008
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Heidi Montag is the chick who is banging that guy Spencer from the Hills. Actually, they’re both on the Hills which I just realized is a reality show on MTV that only girls watch. The only thing different about their reality show is that it’s completely scripted which, in turn, makes it a drama and not a reality show. I digress. This is supposed to be a candid shot of the Heidi on the beach but it looks just as staged as their stupid reality show. Enjoy the links…

Christina Aguilera drinks more than I do - not really but close
Clay Aiken got a girl pregnant without ever having sex with her
Madonna ran up a $100,000 hotel bill and didn’t pay
French comedian makes fun of train wreck Amy Winehouse
That dork who won American Idol is pretending to be hardcore

Posted in: Meet The V-Listers, VS Bikini Madness

Tags: Candids, Heidi Montag, Hills

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