Halle Berry Is Exquire’s Sexiest Woman Alive

Posted By: Shawn On: October 8, 2008
Commented on 0 times

It’s all I can do not to break out of the office right now and b-line for the nearest bar. It’s been a long, taxing day and I’m ready to either shoot someone in the face or get wasted. Getting wasted would be easier and it doesn’t involve a lengthy jail term so I think it may be the best choice for me. If I wasn’t a fan of beer, I’d see what I could get out of Halle Berry’s juggs. Seriously, she just oozes sexiness. I would be all up in that… like a bear on… whatever bears get all up on with a vengeance. I want you to stare long and hard at these photos, put them away in your spank bank and click my links you glorious bastards.

Paris Hilton is still pretending to be running for President of something
Katy Perry has some pretty crazy fans and she’s still hot
Jailbait: Seriously, Jamie Lynn Spears has an enormous rack
Marisa Miller is selling Harleys or something, I wasn’t listening
I would bang Ashley Tisdale but other people would not

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Boobs

Tags: Halle Berry, Sexy

Permalink
Leave a Comment

Halle Berry Is Wearing Some Sexy Lingerie

Posted By: Shawn On: August 12, 2008
Commented on 0 times

I went to the premiere of Tropic Thunder last night. There’s been some controversy over this movie because they make fun of retards and Robert Downey Jr. is in blackface. I’m wearing black face right this second.

Tropic Thunder is an 2008 action comedy film directed by Ben Stiller and starring Stiller, Jack Black and Robert Downey Jr. as a group of prima donna actors filming a Vietnam War movie when their fed-up writer-director decides to dump them in the middle of a real war. It is due for release on August 13, 2008.

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting much from this movie. I actually thought it might suck. The trailer didn’t excite me and, even though it had a killer cast, it didn’t grab my attention. Before the movie starts, there are three fake trailers that lead you to believe all of the stars of the flick are actually actors in a movie. Then, after a bunch of cool explosions, someone yells cut and you realize it’s a movie about making a movie in a warzone. It’s funny as balls and I wasn’t even drunk when I watched this one. Normally I get wasted and holler at the staff while spilling my drinks all over newspaper reviewers. It’s solid funny through the end and, believe it or not, Tom Cruise is the funniest bastard in the film. I recommend you check it out, drunk or not, after you browse these photos of Halle Berry.

Britney Spears is lookin’ good in these boring VMA promos
Whoopi Goldberg plays scratch off lottery tickets? Isn’t she rich?
Hayden Panettiere’s parents look like old homeless people
Nikki Sixx has a new video out and you should watch it
Check out this trailer for the movie Tropic Thunder

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, Fashion Statements

Tags: Halle Berry, Lingerie

Permalink
Leave a Comment

Halle Berry Walks Around Beverly Hills Braless

Posted By: Shawn On: July 17, 2008
Commented on 1 times

I have this sinking feeling that Halle Berry is genuinely crazy. I don’t get that feeling often but when I do my assumptions are almost always correct. You see, a few years back I was dating this crazy chick named Jess except that I didn’t know that she was crazy. One time, after work, I told her I was going to hit the bar with a few friends and I’d be back later. We were living at the same house at the time and I needed some fresh air and strong drinks. She started going bananas and told me the idea that I would go out and leave her at the house was ‘ridiculous’ and that’s when I told her what was ‘ridiculous’ was how fat her ass was getting. She punched me in the face like three times in rapid fashion and I headed for the kitchen. I figured I’d just jump into my car and head off to meet my friends but she grabbed a big kitchen knife and started after me. I hauled ass and never turned around. I left my clothes, shoes, a television and everything else I owned at her house and never spoke to her again. These days, I hear, she’s banging some really old dude who drives a BMW. Halle Berry has that same I’m-about-to-stab-your-ass look as Jess did.

Michael Jordan is banging this hot Cuban model named Yvette Prieto
Someone Bite The Bullet: Kirsten Dunst needs a man, badly
Bud Bundy has now resorted to walking dogs for a living
The hottest chicks at the ESPY Awards are all in one place
Katherine Heigl is still looking pretty hot for a total bitch

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Boobs

Tags: Halle Berry, Pokies

Permalink
Leave a Comment

Halle Berry Looks Sexy In A See-Thru Outfit

Posted By: Shawn On: July 4, 2008
Commented on 0 times

I’m watching the History Channel right now and there’s a special on for the 4th of July that is all about Civil War reenactments. All I can think about is how awesome it would be to sign up for one of the biggest reenactments and the come loaded for bare with live ammunition. Everyone would be pretending to shoot or get shot and play things out exactly as they happened in the past and I’d bust out a weapon that wasn’t created for another 250 years and start shooting people for real. It’s not that I want to kill these people it’s just that I’d love to see the look on their faces as things got real, real fast. I would crank it up a notch farther and bust out a rocket launcher or something and watch people run like the wind. Then, I would go to jail forever after writing one last epic post on Vanity Spy about my ordeal. It would be awesome. Halle Berry finally put on something sexy for some photoshoot that she’s working on and some other guy snapped these photos. If you look real hard you can see things that you’re not supposed to see. Good luck.

One of those Girls Aloud chicks might become a total lesbian
Not Interested: You can buy a piece of Britney Spears if you want
Jay-Z had a party. People were there. You were not there. Loser.
Here is an amazing celebrity sideboob collection for the 4th of July
Gwen Stefani is talking but I’m just staring at her fine pregnant ass

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Boobs, Wardrobe Malfunction

Tags: Halle Berry, See-Thru

Permalink
Leave a Comment

Halle Berry Is The Definition Of MILF

Posted By: Shawn On: June 3, 2008
Commented on 0 times

She cranked out that kid like 2 months ago and she’s already back in shape. Sidebar - what’s with those sun glasses? Everyone in Hollywood has that same exact pair. It’s like they’re all a bunch of lemmings and once someone famous buys something they all jump on board immediately. I wish I had that kind of sway. In 4th grade I tried wearing my pants backwards like Kris Kross and everyone laughed at me. My Mom said that if I kept wearing them, eventually they would catch on and I would be a trend setter. I wore those pants backwards damn near every day that year and not a single person caught on. My Mom is an idiot. Enjoy these photos of Halle Berry and her ‘mommy boobs’ getting into a car yesterday.