Dita Von Teese Is Wearing A Wonderbra

Posted By: Shawn On: September 23, 2008
Commented on 0 times

I have this friend named Ashley who rocks bras like this. I hate them. It’s false advertising. Ashley would go out and wear bras like this with a low-cut shirt and I would think ‘my God she has some huge boobs’ as I dreamed about motorboating them. She would lean over and you would see massive amounts of cleavage and get turned on. I made it a personal mission to see those beautiful boobs and one day (actually, a few times) I laid eyes on them. Ashley’s boobs were tiny. Where I though she was hiding 36C round, amazing boobs she had a small, unimpressive rack. In my mind, this is false advertising of sorts. I chased a girl around simply for her rack and the rack was not there. That’s like some dude pretending he has tons of money and then the girl finds out he’s dead broke. Still, at least I got to see some boobs, unimpressive or not. Check out these photos of Dita Von Teese in a bra.

Those bitches from The Hills have never looked so hot…
Blake Lively has some real nice cleavage in these pics
Disney kicked Miley Cyrus’ ass and she will stay with the Mouse
Marisa Miller is amazing in this SI swimsuit calender… so hot.
Ladies, if you’re out there, this one’s for you

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Boobs

Tags: Boobs, Dita Von Teese

Permalink
Leave a Comment

Dita Von Teese Takes It Off For Bizarre Magazine

Posted By: Shawn On: July 13, 2008
Commented on 0 times

Just so you don’t think that I blew my load on that lame ass Internet access story earlier, I’m back to redeem myself. Warped Tour 2008 was much like Warped Tour 2007 except there was more rain and less hot chicks. The good news is, all of the young punk girls were stripping down to their bras and thongs because it was pouring down rain. The bad new is, they were all disgusting punk whores. Sure, now and again you’d see a chick that was fairly hot and I did enjoy watching a fat chick with huge boobs and a broken leg try to hobble down a steep hill with nothing more than a bra on as her giant boobs flopped around, but other than that it was less than impressive. I watched 3OH!3, Cobra Starship, Say Anything and a few other bands, I saw a group full of ugly chicks get into a serious fight in the pouring rain, I noticed about 10,000 kids try to ‘out-punk’ each other with their ridiculous outfits (the boy-shorts on men trend is embarrassing) and I drank a piss load of alcohol including several Rum Runners with four extra shots. But at the end of the day, the highlight was, well, the end of the day. My feet hurt like a bitch and I felt like a wet dog. Wasted, sunburned and deaf, I was the only person leaving the Warped Tour and heading to the Ritz Carlton.

Lindsay Lohan’s ‘half-sister’ and her Mom are crying on national television
That young chick from Gossip Girl wants to show you her ass
Bastards: New York Magazine gives the first negative review of Dark Knight
Apparently Paris Hilton now enjoys cutting her own hair and sucking at it
Check out the new super lame video from Jessica Simpson

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Boobs

Tags: Bizarre, Dita Von Teese

Permalink
Leave a Comment

Dita Von Teese Poses In German Maxim

Posted By: Shawn On: June 5, 2008
Commented on 1 times

There aren’t many pale skinned girls that I consider to be as hot as Dita Von Teese. I’d think about sleeping with her if it wasn’t for that whole Marilyn Manson thing. You see, my sister used to hang out with a bunch of strippers in Ft. Lauderdale and they all used to tell me stories of what an asshole Manson was. His band was formed in south Florida so everyone down here knows him and, trust me, they all hate him. Rumor has it he used to do boatloads of coke and hit the girls. The only reason they put up with him is because he was a repeat customer. So, in my mind, any chick who would sleep with Marilyn Manson is toast. She has to be a bad seed. She did dump him for his douche-like ways so maybe that says something. Nah, I’m not ready to forgive just yet. Enjoy these photos of Dita Von Teese from the July issue of German Maxim as I continue to pretend that she would actually sleep with me.