Brooke Hogan’s Boobs Are Still Kinda OK

Posted By: Shawn On: October 3, 2008
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I would pay $400 to take a nap in her cleavage.

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Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Boobs

Tags: Boobs, Brooke Hogan

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Brooke Hogan Is In A Bikini In Miami. Again.

Posted By: Shawn On: August 8, 2008
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I watched the opening ceremonies for the Beijing Olympics this morning and they were crazy. Of course, you can’t just watch them on television because NBC is blocking access to the video until they air it tonight. YouTube versions get yanked down as quick as they go up so it was kind of a pain in the ass to watch but I managed. There is some crazy stuff going on over the three hours that the opening ceremonies take up. It starts off nice and slow but when it gets to the part where the people have boxes over their heads it’s going to blow your mind. The entire stadium went nuts. Then, after all 8 billion countries take a lap around the stadium with their flags, some Jackie Chan looking dude came out and grabbed the torch. He had wires on him and they yanked him way up in the air. He ran vertically along the side of the stadium like 1000 feet in the air. It was intense. Think Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Finally, he lit the Olympic torch and everyone clapped. It was bananas. Meanwhile, Broke Hogan was showing off her glorious rack on South Beach. Also, bananas.

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Jessica Alba is basically having sex with this chair

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, VS Bikini Madness

Tags: Bikini, Brooke Hogan

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Brooke Hogan Is In A Bikini, In Miami, Again

Posted By: Shawn On: July 25, 2008
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I’m completely out of my mind right now. It’s hard to even focus on the computer monitor to type this entry. I went to another Irish bar last night with my roommate and, when we got there, we were the only people in the entire bar. I know both of the bartenders, one is an Irish guy who I went to school with and the other is this blond chick with implants that used to date my friend, so they talked with us at the bar. Then came the shots. And more shots. And more shots. I somehow stumbled out of there around 2 AM and ended up back at home on my inflatable bed. I’d give you more details than that but I’m drawing a blank. While I piece together the details of last night, you check out these pictures of Brooke Hogan.

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Meg Ryan in a fat suit is just as gross as you imagined
Jessica Biel is having dinner at a restaurant you can’t afford

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, VS Bikini Madness

Tags: Bikini, Brooke Hogan

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I Can See Through Brooke Hogan’s Green Bikini

Posted By: Shawn On: July 24, 2008
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I’m not sure what Brooke Hogan is doing in these photos. In fact, I’m downright befuddled. In the large photo above she seems to be holding some sort of bear-like creature that may or may not be alive. You can also clearly see her goods right through her bikini bottom. Then, if you click around the thumbnails, you’ll see her emulating the bear-like creature by hanging from a tree. Her boobs look amazing, as per usual, but she looks pretty crazy. Brooke Hogan is one of those chicks that you would think was hot if you never met her. I’ve met her. I’d still do her but there’s something a little creepy about a 6′1 beast with a body like a linebacker - a sexy linebacker, mind you. Anyhow, enjoy these photos of Brooke Hogan frolicking around in a green bikini with a mysterious animal and look closely at the whole set as you might get more than you bargained for. Then, click my links like a madman and go kill yourself.*

*This instruction only applies if you are, in fact, Brooke Hogan.

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Posted in: I See Your Goods, VS Bikini Madness

Tags: Bikini, Brooke Hogan

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Brooke Hogan Looks Like A Complete Prostitute

Posted By: Shawn On: July 14, 2008
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So after Warped Tour on Saturday night, I headed to my hotel. I had a diesel-ass, dead center, 8th floor, ocean-view room at the Ritz Carlton in Key Biscayne. I was sweaty, wet and wasted from being at Warped Tour all day so when I walked in everyone in the place stared at me like I was a homeless man masturbating in the entranceway. I acted like everything was cool and checked into my room. After the chick I brought with me gnawed her way through the liquor supply in the room we headed down to the lobby bar. The place was filled with complete douchebags who probably own major corporations that pay the hard working men and women who keep them in business pennies. Again, everyone looked at me like I had flames coming out of my nostrils until I convinced a few of the high rollers to pound some shots with me. This one lady was like 45-years-old and her husband was this ancient shipping magnate who apparently had more money that God. She started talking politics with me and we were pounding Washington Apples like they were the air that we breathe. She started getting wasted and hitting on me and telling me how her husband hadn’t slept with her in years and all I could think was ‘maybe I should do this bag-of-bones a favor and nail her’ but I didn’t. She was old and sloppy and whorish. In fact, I bet she looked a lot like Brooke Hogan in her younger years. Check out these photos of Brooke performing at Mansion in Miami where I got drunk once and slapped a bouncer.

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Jessica Simpson is wearing a pink bathing suit on some yacht
Get beat by Notorious B.I.G.? Sue for millions of dollars.

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, Fashion Statements

Tags: Brooke Hogan, Slut

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All Of A Sudden Brooke Hogan Is Really Hot

Posted By: Shawn On: July 8, 2008
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I’m digging in to some brand new band called 3oh!3. They’re like a cross between Beastie Boys and Cobra Starship. You probably hate both of those bands but this CD is addictive. I just got my tickets and press passes for Warped Tour 2008 and I think I have a free hotel in South Beach so I might as well go see 3oh!3 while I’m there. I could use this weekend off to get hammered and search for Brooke Hogan in Miami. That’s where these photos were snapped and whereas before I would be quick to make fun of Brooke Hogan she looks amazing today. She’s got just that right amount of meat on her bones where it looks sexy and her boobs and ass look like they’re performing on a higher level. So ideally I will meet Brooke Hogan in Miami and we will get wasted and procreate. In reality, I will go down there with some friends and chase around teenagers. Either way, it’ll be fun.

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Posted in: Celebrity Train Wrecks, Daily Eye Candy

Tags: Bikini, Brooke Hogan

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Brooke Hogan Is Doable In The August Maxim

Posted By: Shawn On: June 25, 2008
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Hulk Hogan is the new Joe Simpson. They both totally act like they want to do their daughters. You’ve seen them do creepy things like cover their daughters in suntan lotion or talk about their boobs to the press. On another level I don’t know how I would deal with a hot ass daughter. What if I looked at her and saw the same thing that a zillion other dudes saw that turned them on? That would be creepy. I can tell you first hand that not only is Brooke Hogan not hot in person, she’s downright weird looking. I met her about a year ago and she’s over 6 feet tall and she wears a ton of makeup. There’s something about big ass girls that really turns me off. Brooke Hogan is one of the least feminine women I have ever met. Still, she looks hot in these Maxim photos that come out next month.