Britney Spears Is Doing Weird Things Poolside

Posted By: Shawn On: July 28, 2008
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When I was giving blood at the Doctor’s office last week, they asked me to take a urine test as well. There was a brief awkward moment where I stared at the nurse and she replied ‘we only test for health issues, not drugs’ and I walked toward the bathroom. I realized at that point that I had neither a cup to pee in nor the desire to pee at all but when I looked back at that crazy ass nurse she just kept pointing towards the bathroom. Inside, the bathroom looked like some little girls powder room or something. There was pink stuff and fluffy things everywhere. It was uncomfortable as hell and I was just standing there wondering what to do. Finally I found the little bottles and pens in a case by the door and I penned in my info and stared at the toilet as I tried to pee. Finally, I started peeing and filled the cup. Just one problem, I couldn’t stop peeing and I didn’t know what to do so I just turned around and grabbed another cup and kept filling. It was like the scene in Dumb and Dumber when Lloyd filled up a twelve pack with urine. Then I placed my 2 and 1/2 bottles of urine sample in the tiny cupboard and shut the tiny door. I could here a nurse on the other side open it and say ‘what the hell and I got scared and ran to the parking lot. Hopefully everything checked out OK. Britney Spears was by the pool and someone with a terrible camera snapped these bikini pictures. I though you might enjoy them before you click my links.

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Posted in: Celebrity Train Wrecks, What A Jackass

Tags: Bikini, Britney Spears

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Britney Spears Rocks A Bikini In The Backyard

Posted By: Shawn On: July 24, 2008
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The greatest part about these Britney Spears pictures is the fact that they were clearly snapped from a distance and through the bushes. Britney more than likely had no clue they were even taking the pictures. I thought it would be a cool idea to hide a camera one time. I had this girl coming over for a late-night booty call. Yes, I just used the phrase booty call. I knew I was going to get some action and I had been bragging to my friends how hot this chick was. I hid the video camera, somewhat geniusly, under a hat in the corner of my darkened room. When I knew she was downstairs. I clicked record and the tape began to roll. Problem is, I was so wasted that halfway through the sex I told her about the camera and tried to bring it out and get all professional with my angles. She freaked out and took the camera. She threatened to call the police if I didn’t erase the whole thing immediately. I pretended to erase the video, walked her out to her car and never talked to her again. I don’t think I have a single friend who hasn’t watched that video at some point. Check out these photos of Britney Spears in a bikini.

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Posted in: Celebrity Train Wrecks, VS Bikini Madness

Tags: Bikini, Britney Spears

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Paparazzi Grabs Shot Up Britney Spears’ Skirt

Posted By: Shawn On: June 30, 2008
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It’s Monday morning and my eyes are barely open but I had to post these shots before breakfast. Not because I thought it would make me sick to look up Britney’s skirt but because I thought they were actually kind of hot. Check out those legs from behind, not too bad. If you zoom in on some of the photos below there’s not telling what you’ll see. I honestly think Britney Spears is getting a little bit closer to hot every single day. There are loads of rumors that she might perform at the VMA’s again as some kind of comeback kid. She’s working out all the time and I would mind watching her transform into a piece of eye candy once again. Hell, I’d do her looking all white-trashy like she does now. Enjoy these photos of Britney Spears and her goods, snapped yesterday in Los Angeles, and I’ll grab a shot of whiskey to wake myself up. I’ll be back in a flash…

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Posted in: Celebrity Train Wrecks, I See Your Goods

Tags: Britney Spears, upskirt

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Britney Spears Looks Very Confused And Crazy

Posted By: Shawn On: June 23, 2008
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I drank quite a bit last night but not so much that I shouldn’t remember anything that happened in the last 24 hours. Maybe it was just so traumatic that I’ve blocked it all out. Or maybe someone slipped something in my drink that made it even more potent than it already was. Either way, I woke up and stared into the mirror for an unknown period of time and I couldn’t remember a damn thing about last night. I hate when this happens because I don’t know if I did something asinine that I need to apologize for. I think I will lock myself in my office and wait this one out. Britney Spears is not so lucky on days like this. They follow this bitch with helicopters to catch her every move. You think she would have learned to wear a bra by now but, alas, she has not. Enjoy these photos of Britney Spears looking crazy yesterday in Malibu and I will try to piece together what happened last night.

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Kid Rock gives you permission to download all of his music today

Posted in: Celebrity Train Wrecks

Tags: Britney Spears, Pokies

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The Britney Spears Tub Photos Are Totally Fake

Posted By: Shawn On: June 19, 2008
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OMFG! Sound the alarm! Britney Spears is totally naked in a tub and some guy leaked the photos. This whole thing would be awesome if it were even remotely true. Alas, it is not. My inbox has been flooded for the past 48 hours with requests for the ‘Britney Spears Tub Photos’ that everyone is so convinced are real. In a few of these photos the random tub girl does look quite a bit like Britney Spears but one or two of them are all it takes to convince me that they aren’t genuine. Britney Spears has tattoos on either side of her goods and this chick does not. Britney Spears doesn’t bathe and this chick is in a bathtub so that’s two strikes right there. Plus, tub girl doesn’t have any extensions and Britney rocks those dollar store suckers. I’ll throw it out to you freaks for a vote but I’m fairly positive they aren’t real. Now that I have posted them can we put a halt to the ‘post the Britney Tub pics’ emails? I sure as hell hope so…

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Posted in: Celebrity Train Wrecks, I See Your Boobs, I See Your Goods

Tags: Britney Spears, nude, Tub

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Britney Spears Feels No Need To Wear A Bra

Posted By: Shawn On: June 9, 2008
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Everyone on the news today is bitching about increasing temperatures but, I have to tell you, the heat sure makes my job easier. The Hollywood crowd is flaunting everything they have in their skimpiest bikinis and even when they’re not at the beach they find a way to ditch a layer or two of clothing. In this case, eternal train wreck Britney Spears ditched her bra yesterday (see: nipples) to ease the effects of skyrocketing temps in Los Angeles. I can’t find much to bitch about there. There is the fact that I’m sick as hell and typing this from my pseudo-death bed as I fight a miserable cold but even that can’t hold me down. I’ve got some medicine and hard liquor to ease the pain and now I can stare at Britney’s giant nipples. Seems like a good way to start off this brand new week to me.