Posted By: Shawn On: October 7, 2008
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My roommate is eating one of those Jamaican beef patty things right now. No matter where you are on this planet, you can find a store that sells those bastards. They all taste exactly the same. It’s some yellowish-brownish pastry deal with ground beef from God-knows-where spice to the tens with God-knows-what and it’s smelling up my apartment. The strange thing about these Jamaican beef patty things is that when you are drunk, they are absolutely delicious. They are the perfect food for a wasted man like me. The meat comes in an edible wrapper and you can eat it without getting stuff all over your dress shirt. Whoever invented those things must be rich as hell. Damn it, I think I’m going to have to eat one of these things. Mariah Carey’s fat ass probably love Jamaican beef pattys. Click my links while I eat.

Venessa Minnilo is still alive and sexy and also eating ice cream
Now that, my friends, is a decent ass on a bikini chick
I can see through Jennifer Love Hewitt’s shirt at Disney World
I don’t understand this but it really creeps me out
Aubrey O’Day kisses dogs, shows off her boobs and goes home

Posted in: Celebrity Train Wrecks, I See Your Boobs

Tags: Boobs, Mariah Carey

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Posted By: Shawn On: October 6, 2008
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I finally cracked and got a new cellphone. I lasted about seven weeks on my email-only plan but people began to yell at me and accuse me of abandoning them. My mother screamed at me ‘what if your father has a heart attack or something, how would I get a hold of you?’ and my reply of ‘email me?‘ didn’t see to fly. So I’m back on the grid as far as cellphones go but God knows this genius little piece of technology they call a Blackberry Curve will end up at the bottom of a poll or pitcher of beer eventually. That said, I can now give girls a better way of contacting me other than email and I may actually get an uptick in my ass quotient. You never know. Selma Hayek has the biggest boobs in the world. Check them out and then click my links or die alone.

Tom Cruise is taking to rescuing random street people now
They Are All Gay: Some boy band dude is coming out of the closet
Amy Winehouse seriously looks like some sort of tribal Indian lady
Soulja Boy is all about that hot ten-year-old backstage ass
David Spade is a dickhead. A really funny, dickhead.

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Boobs

Tags: Boobs, Selma Hayek

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Posted By: Shawn On: October 3, 2008
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I would pay $400 to take a nap in her cleavage.

Reality TV gets a dose of reality with a stabbing victim
She’s hot and her name is my favorite place to visit. Bar.
Funny: Jim’s best pranks on that one show ‘The Office’
iTunes is not going to die despite all of the stupid rumors
Call Of The Search: Shirley Manson is still alive an pretty hot

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Boobs

Tags: Boobs, Brooke Hogan

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Posted By: Shawn On: October 2, 2008
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I just met Ludacris. Don’t ask how or why, just know that I did. He was pretty cool, but he was so freaky picky. I’ve met a number of famous people in my day so I wasn’t really in shock or awe. He was my height (I’m only 5′6″, which is not impressive) and the diamonds he was wearing on his body would have covered my rent and bills for two years. He used the bathroom twice in roughly an hour. The only thing I can say about that is he either drank a big gulp right before I met him or he’s having stomach issues, which is gross. He had this huge body guard with him that kept demanding to know who everyone was so that he could feel important. The whole thing was uber-awkward and I almost wish it had never happened. With that, I beg of you to click my links. Oh, and can someone send out a search party for Shawn, now? I don’t have time to do this stuff tomorrow.

With Love, Meg

Random chick + big boobs + jumping jacks = hot
Brooke Hogan has some huge knockers
Catherine Zeta-Jones is getting old
Kate Moss makes a sexy gold statue
Dita Von Teese is friends with the Addams Family

Posted in: I See Your Boobs

Tags: Boobs, megan fox

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Posted By: Shawn On: October 1, 2008
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The most amusing trainwreck ex-porn star — ever. Links. Click ‘em.

Aw Man!: Dad, I told you not to let them photograph you!
Kim Kardashian got the boot on Dancing With the Whores
There’s nothing wrong with looking at some naked clowns
I must go get a brain piercing immediately. Like right now.
Lohan and her girlfriend are sucking on ice pops right now

Posted in: Celebrity Train Wrecks, I See Your Boobs

Tags: Boobs, Mary Carey

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Posted By: Shawn On: September 29, 2008
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My God. I suck. Stories soon. Boobies for now.

Paris Hilton is hanging out in some tight ass pants
Awwww Yeah: Britney Spears has a sex tape for reals
Victoria Beckham is wearing some strange ass shoes
My God is this chick from ANTM hot or what?
Heather Locklear is my kind of chick in jail right now

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Boobs

Tags: Boobs, Scarlett Johansson

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Posted By: Shawn On: September 23, 2008
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I have this friend named Ashley who rocks bras like this. I hate them. It’s false advertising. Ashley would go out and wear bras like this with a low-cut shirt and I would think ‘my God she has some huge boobs’ as I dreamed about motorboating them. She would lean over and you would see massive amounts of cleavage and get turned on. I made it a personal mission to see those beautiful boobs and one day (actually, a few times) I laid eyes on them. Ashley’s boobs were tiny. Where I though she was hiding 36C round, amazing boobs she had a small, unimpressive rack. In my mind, this is false advertising of sorts. I chased a girl around simply for her rack and the rack was not there. That’s like some dude pretending he has tons of money and then the girl finds out he’s dead broke. Still, at least I got to see some boobs, unimpressive or not. Check out these photos of Dita Von Teese in a bra.

Those bitches from The Hills have never looked so hot…
Blake Lively has some real nice cleavage in these pics
Disney kicked Miley Cyrus’ ass and she will stay with the Mouse
Marisa Miller is amazing in this SI swimsuit calender… so hot.
Ladies, if you’re out there, this one’s for you

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Boobs

Tags: Boobs, Dita Von Teese

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