Ashley Tisdale’s Ass Is Soaking Wet At The Beach

Posted By: Shawn On: July 4, 2008
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It’s nasty outside again. I’ve got some kick ass 4th of July stuff to do tonight but I don’t want to get struck by lightning so for now I’ll get drunk on my couch. The terribly lame pop-punk band Simple Plan is playing downtown West Palm Beach and I have VIP access to all of the events because people think I’m important. I’m not, but I’ll take all of the free stuff I can get. The first thing I’m going to do is stop by this event at Dr. Feelgood’s, a bar owned by Vince Neil of Mötley Crüe, where I basically get wasted for free whenever I want. Then, I’m headed down to the Simple Plan thing and a fireworks show right on the water. I’m hoping that hot girls will be dumb enough to wear clothing that will become see-thru when the inevitable rain comes. Then, I’m invited to some other club for an after-party with Simple Plan and I will get paid to be a jackass with a microphone. Wish me luck. Enjoy these photos of Ashley Tisdale on the beach in Maui yesterday.

Mandy Moore battles the wind and wins in her low-cut sweater
This, my friends, is how you go about hiding a giant elephant
This is what happens when you light 10.5 million firecrackers
That funny McLovin dude gets way more hot ass than he deserves
Cover Your Eyes: Perez Hilton takes his shirt off for some reason

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, Shot From The Back, VS Bikini Madness

Tags: Ashley Tisdale, Bikini

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Ashley Tisdale Looks Sexy Wearing A Life Jacket

Posted By: Shawn On: July 2, 2008
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Ashley Tisdale’s birthmark kind of ruins it for me. Her body isn’t all that tight and the only thing that keeps her looking sexy in these beach photos is her face. Her face is nice and young looking and I actually think the nose job looks alright. She’s a little loose around the hips and her boobs are fairly nonexistent but that birthmark just kills me. I used to know this chick named Amanda in high school and every guy wanted to bang her. She liked me because I made her laugh and when she made it clear she wanted to do me I knew something had to be wrong. It wasn’t like she had a penis or anything but she was this smoking hot chick with an amazing face and a great body and something wasn’t right. When we started fooling around for the first time I took her shirt off with the lights on. She had birthmarks all over her body and I got scared and reacted all weird. I put her shirt back on and didn’t end up sleeping with her until a drunken rendezvous at a kegger years later. Anyhow, these photos of Ashley Tisdale in a bikini in Malibu remind me of Amanda and I want to vomit everywhere.

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson do some lesbian birthday shopping
Mandy Moore is single and I’m plotting my first move to win her over
Nevermind: Megan Fox is single and I’m plotting my first move to win HER over
DMX was arrested time #34,678 this morning in Dallas, Texas
Katherine Kelly Lang’s fat ass barely fits in this black bikini

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, VS Bikini Madness

Tags: Ashley Tisdale, Bikini

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Ashley Tisdale Looks Like A Whore From Behind

Posted By: Shawn On: June 30, 2008
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Watch Living Lohan episode 6 now so I’m not the only one doing so
Man Your Battle Stations: The nerds will revolt any minute now
Old bitch Liz Taylor is way more ghetto than originally thought
Sienna Miller will have sex with just about anyone famous
Why in the name of God is Courtney Love in a shopping cart

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, Shot From The Back

Tags: Ashley Tisdale, Whore

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Ashley Tisdale Shows Some Leg

Posted By: Shawn On: May 29, 2008
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Ashley Tisdale is a bonafide star these days. You used to be able to laugh her off as one of those Disney tween bitches but she’s 22-years-old and smoking hot now. He legs are amazing and if she were to get a boob job I would put her in my top 5. You hear that Ashley? Top 5! Get to work bitch. Below are some more photos of Ashley Tisdale and her douchebag boyfriend wandering around aimlessly in Los Angeles, California.