Ivanka Trump Pretends To Actually Be Hot

Posted By: Shawn On: October 15, 2008
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I’ve talked about this bitch before. She’s one of those Zima sipping assbags who pretends to be hip and scene. She’s far from it. So far, in fact, I’ve seen her freaking out after taking ecstasy for the first time. She was going nuts. You see, when this bitch was nothing more than 15-years-old her dad, Donald Trump, put her up in an apartment just south of me. She used to throw parties all the time and the kids from the local douchebag high school Cardinal Newman would put away their Rosary beads and pick up some Corona. Then, they would all borrow their parents Hummers or BMW’s and head to Ivanka’s house. Sounds like fun, right? No. I would pull up in my broken ass Camaro and stumble inside with a pocket full of pharmaceuticals. Fifteen minutes later, I’d be making fun of them all and mocking Ivanka’s mustache. Bizarrely enough, they never kicked me out. They liked when I made fun of them. I never made a move on Ivanka because she’s ugly up close and she didn’t have this massive rack back then. I’d bang her today if only to tell you suckers how it went. Check out these snaps from something called Max Magazine and click my links.