Christina Hendricks Has Some Sweet Boobs

Posted By: Shawn On: September 22, 2008
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So I go to this bar around the corner from my apartment damn near every night these days. The bartenders there are decent but not anything to brag about. I would say they are the types of chicks you like to believe you can bang if you want to but if they turned you down it would hurt your feelings. I was plastered there last night. I’ve gotten into the habit of drinking the world’s strongest drinks as a sideshow of sorts. They will pour me six or seven Captain and Coke’s that have like a teaspoon of Coke on top of a liter of Captain and laugh with their friends as I pound them one after another. So I got just drunk enough to hit on this one bartender there and she has a hot body but a face that could scare a Tasmanian Devil (and those things are badasses by nature). I thought I was a shoe-in but she turned me down. Then, I looked at myself. I am 27 years old and I go to the same bar every night. I’m so out of shape, I actually hurt myself playing Nintendo Wii. I haven’t done laundry in months and I usually smell like a liquor store. I went wrong somewhere. There’s only two solutions to this new problem of mine. One: I can keep pretending you folks actually read this stuff and care about my life and try to straighten my act up. Two: I can own this whole ‘he’s a complete mess’ thing and crank it up another few notches. So, naturally, I’m going to crank it up a few notches. Stay tuned, this should get interesting.