Posted By: Shawn On: September 30, 2008
Commented on 2 times

I’ve had the worst heartburn for like 72 hours at this point and it’s beginning to wear me thin. Important people have been trying to talk to me about important things and I’m ducking them because I secretly fear success. I’ve downed about 30 or so of those strawberry Tums in the last 45 minutes and they aren’t doing anything. My feet also smell and this may be why I’m avoiding the important people for the important meeting so that this website can make some important money and your humble writer can eat something more nourishing than humble pie. Seriously, I’m starving. I want to go to Vegas. Maybe I took too many pills this morning? If you’re still reading this than you are a dedicated fan and I love you. Mom.

Why are girls in underwear with cameras so damn hot?
My God. That is one sexy ass shot right there Mrs. Aniston.
Katy Perry is really hot and she has big boobs but this is weird
Megan Fox is wearing nothing but a bra in some terrible movie
Ecko uses hot chick to make me buy shoes and ugly clothes

Posted in: Celebrity Train Wrecks, Fashion Statements

Tags: Mila Kunis, WTF?

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Posted By: Shawn On: September 30, 2008
Commented on 1 times

I would have sex with them both right now.

Whoa! Someone went a little overboard on the botox!
It seems like everyone goes to the beach except for me
No, THIS is the worst job ever. Yours is just dandy.
Wow! Pornos are getting pretty techy these days.
Let’s face it, we’d all bang the hell out of Sienna Miller

Posted in: Meet The V-Listers, VS Bikini Madness

Tags: Audrina Patridge, Bikini

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Posted By: Shawn On: September 30, 2008
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Wait, is Samatha Ronson actually hot? Weird.

More lesbian hotties on the beach are always good, right?
Hayden is definitely hotter than that chick you’re banging
Oh damn! DJ AM is all burnt up in these brand new photos
I would pay a million dollars to sleep with these hot sisters
So hot. So hot. So hot. So hot. So hot.

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, VS Bikini Madness

Tags: Lindsay Lohan, Samantha Ronson

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Posted By: Shawn On: September 29, 2008
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That chick Meg was going to help me again today as I try to stay alive and post here on Vanity Spy at the same time. She wasn’t able to help because she got all famous after writing for my site. I don’t get it. I deliver like a freaking champion every day and I get nothing and she writes a couple posts for you freaks and she gets to be the Official Hills blogger for MTV or something. At some point, you bastards or going to have to vote for her. You don’t have to watch the show or anything, just vote. Then, when she wins the contest and gets to go to Hollywood (it’s between her and one other chick) I will get wasted and tag along. I can get some sweet upskirt shots of The Hills cast before I get wasted at the open bar and the bouncers kick me out for grabbing Lauren Conrad’s sweet, sweet ass. Enjoy these completely unrelated pictures of Jennifer Aniston in a green bikini while I wonder why I can’t get a God damn break.

Hey! Kendra Wilkinson wants attention! Here are her boobs!
Sarah Palin is looking pretty sexy in this swimsuit video
Jessica Simpson will be the demise of Tony Romo and the Cowboys
This chick is hot. I have said enough.
Travis ‘plane crash’ Barker is out of the hospital now

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, VS Bikini Madness

Tags: Bikini, Jennifer Aniston

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Posted By: Shawn On: September 29, 2008
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My God. I suck. Stories soon. Boobies for now.

Paris Hilton is hanging out in some tight ass pants
Awwww Yeah: Britney Spears has a sex tape for reals
Victoria Beckham is wearing some strange ass shoes
My God is this chick from ANTM hot or what?
Heather Locklear is my kind of chick in jail right now

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Boobs

Tags: Boobs, Scarlett Johansson

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Posted By: Shawn On: September 29, 2008
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It’s Monday. I’m hungover. Look! Holly Madison’s sideboob!

James Franco got an award that doubles as a bong
I still say that Rumor Willis is doable and no one agress
Audrina Patridge and her tattooed sister are in bathing suits
Mini Me’s hot chick is cheating on him with another famous midget!
Jennifer Aniston is in a bikini and she looks pretty sexy

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Boobs

Tags: Holly Madison, Sideboob

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Posted By: Shawn On: September 26, 2008
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I have an insane schedule today. I’m heading out in a bit to some crazy contest with hot chicks then I have to go to some other event and then to a club. I’ve been up since 5:15 this morning and I’m already exhausted so maybe some drinks will wake me up. My hopes are to meet an attractive, young, skinny chick with giant boobs who is impressed by my demeanor so I can bring her drunken self back to my inflatable mattress for a rendezvous of epic proportions. I’m headed for this bar called The Square Grouper which takes it’s name from a bail of marijuana that washed up on the shore some years ago. The chicks there are always hammered and some of them are not only hot, they’re also quite rich. There will be a bunch of bands there as well but I’ve never heard of any of them so I don’t really care. If I can find an Aubrey O’Day look-a-like in the crowd tonight, all will be well. Wish me luck and pay me back by clicking my links.

Cisco Adler is pouring beer on some random chick’s boobs
Blake Lively always looks hot. Today is no exception.
Brooke Burns is looking mighty fine and you should hit it

Perez Hilton has a song and it is the worst song ever recorded

Posted in: I See Your Boobs, Meet The V-Listers

Tags: Aubrey O'Day, Danity Kane

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