Audrina Patridge Is Wearing A Gold Bikini

Posted By: Shawn On: August 24, 2008
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It’s been a successful weekend. By successful, I mean I haven’t vomited on myself or embarrassed myself in front of a large crowd - at least not that I can remember. I was pretty floored on Friday night and these girls who work for Absolute Vodka were all over me. Just as I began to envision a wild Absolute-fueled orgy, they left and didn’t even say goodbye. Bitches. Then, at the bar I was at, there was a fat old dude with white hair that arrived at about 10:30PM and danced non-stop until the place closed at 5:00AM. Dude, that’s six and a half hours of dancing. He was either on a crazy old guy meth kick or he is bringing ecstasy back like it’s 1999. I was moments away from asking him where I could get some ‘beans‘ when I saw a hot brunette wander into the men’s bathroom. Huge rack, nice face - the whole package. I asked her what the hell she was doing in the men’s bathroom and she looked all confused. I offered to buy her a shot of Tequila and we’ve were solid drunk until she left my apartment about 15 minutes ago. Check out my links while I clean up the mess.