Dita Von Teese Takes It Off For Bizarre Magazine

Posted By: Shawn On: July 13, 2008
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Just so you don’t think that I blew my load on that lame ass Internet access story earlier, I’m back to redeem myself. Warped Tour 2008 was much like Warped Tour 2007 except there was more rain and less hot chicks. The good news is, all of the young punk girls were stripping down to their bras and thongs because it was pouring down rain. The bad new is, they were all disgusting punk whores. Sure, now and again you’d see a chick that was fairly hot and I did enjoy watching a fat chick with huge boobs and a broken leg try to hobble down a steep hill with nothing more than a bra on as her giant boobs flopped around, but other than that it was less than impressive. I watched 3OH!3, Cobra Starship, Say Anything and a few other bands, I saw a group full of ugly chicks get into a serious fight in the pouring rain, I noticed about 10,000 kids try to ‘out-punk’ each other with their ridiculous outfits (the boy-shorts on men trend is embarrassing) and I drank a piss load of alcohol including several Rum Runners with four extra shots. But at the end of the day, the highlight was, well, the end of the day. My feet hurt like a bitch and I felt like a wet dog. Wasted, sunburned and deaf, I was the only person leaving the Warped Tour and heading to the Ritz Carlton.