Posted By: Shawn On: July 31, 2008
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I just heard that Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are even closer than before. Earlier, they were downtown at some of my favorite restaurants like Rocco’s Tacos on Clematis street. Now, they’re literally right around the block shopping. I’m wondering if I should head over there now to mess with them or wait until I’m backstage tonight? Probably best to wait. This meeting will be much more comical with me completely hammered and trying to grab Paris Hilton’s boobs. I’ve already hung out with both of the Good Charlotte guys and I know I could kick their asses. Those two are like 5 feet 6 inches tall or something. I’m not saying I’m a bad ass but I’m certainly bigger than them. I’ll give you bastards a full report tomorrow. It’s time to start drinking. Heavily. Here are some new pictures of Audrina Patridge in a pink bikini.

Jessica Alba’s boobs are massive and she’s no wearing a bra
Did I already post these Jennifer Aniston pokies photos today?
Jodie Marsh is pretty much naked in this photo
Take Two: Jodie Marsh even closer with her boobs dangling
Jamie Lynn will give birth to another Spears bastard soon

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, VS Bikini Madness

Tags: Audrina Patridge, Bikini

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Posted By: Shawn On: July 31, 2008
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Kendra Wilkinson is one of the ‘Girls Next Door‘ chicks who pretends to bang Hugh Hefner. Apparently she was at some charity golf event where the press was snapping photos and she figured the sluttier she acted, the more press she would get. She was right. Speaking of whores, I’ve just been informed that both Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are in town and they will be at the same event as me tonight. You see, Good Charlotte is in town playing a concert here in West Palm Beach and I’ve got some backstage passes. At the moment, they’re supposedly running around town shopping and trying to draw as much attention to themselves as possible. I’ll be sure to get wasted and cause a massive scene when I run into those bitches tonight. Enjoy these photos of Kendra Wilkinson acting like a slut playing golf and click my links.

Awesome: A Butthole Surfers gig ends with the lead singer fighting the sound guy
Things You Missed: Celebrity items on EBay that were awesome
Sharon Stone is getting sued by the Chinese government
Topanga is making a comeback on some show called ‘The Dish’
Relax boys, Katherine Heigl is still an insufferable bitch

Posted in: Celebrity Train Wrecks, Shot From The Back

Tags: Girls Next Door, Kendra Wilkinson

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Posted By: Shawn On: July 31, 2008
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So I guess there’s a new trend making the rounds where chicks are wearing bikinis that are way too small for them to make their boobs look much bigger than they actually are. It seems kind of misleading but I like it because you get to see all sorts of boob action. Mischa Barton was at the beach yesterday in what appears to be her little sister’s bathing suit and she was showing off her small, but nice, boobs. She’s making out with whatever disease-infested dude of the moment is with her on the beach. All in all, it seems like a fun day. Except, of course, for the after-sex itching that both of these lovebirds will endure tomorrow morning. And then there’s the shocking relization that they’ve traded STD’s. Other than that, it’s a home run. Enjoy these photos of Mischa Barton and her tiny bathing suit at the beach and click my links.

Christina Aguilera is totally rocking the Dee Snider look
Jennifer Aniston loves to go braless and I love to watch her
Paris Hilton is yapping at Comic Con and I am not listening
No Lollapalooza tickets? They’re streaming the whole concert online!
One of those bitches from Girls Aloud has some nasty ass legs

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, VS Bikini Madness

Tags: Bikini, Mischa Barton

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Posted By: Shawn On: July 31, 2008
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Ingrid Vandebosch is currently married to that little race car driver guy Jeff Gordon. I don’t watch much Nascar myself but my sister used to bang some guy in his pit crew and she told me that Jeff Gordon was tiny. She said that he always makes sure he’s standing on something that makes him higher than everyone else or at least on their level. For instance, when he was giving some kind of pre-race pep talk, he would stand on the concrete barrier so his little midget body was at eyeline with everyone else. She also told me that it isn’t true that Nascar guys go to the bathroom while driving. She said Jeff Gordon is on some ridiculous minute-by-minute schedule and there’s some dude who makes sure he eats dinner at just the right time so he’ll crap it all out before the start of the race. They also control his urine the same exact way. I wish someone did that for me. Anyhow, Ingrid Vandebosch is banging Jeff Gordon after those races and she’s borderline hot so let’s check out these photos of her in some weird lingerie.

Rihanna isn’t wearing a bra and her nipples look pretty gigantic
Which Olsen twin is hotter? Mary Kate? Or is it Ashley Olsen?
Amanda Bynes is lookin’ super sexy after her workouts
Everyone is talking about this really weird monster animal
Oh Dear Lord: This is why I absolutely LOVE the schoolgirl look

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, Meet The V-Listers

Tags: Ingrid Vandebosch, Jeff Gordon

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Posted By: Shawn On: July 30, 2008
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Let’s continue the story of Casey Anthony. OK, so Casey hasn’t seen her daughter in 31 days and police are questioning her about the missing 3-year-old girl. Murderer tells the officers that she works at Universal Studios and she told several of her coworkers about her missing daughter as she was ‘conducting her own investigation’. None of the coworkers whom she names are currently employed by Universal Studios but she stands by her story. She talks about her office but can’t give solid directions to the police so they drive her there and she walks with authority through the hallways to her office. Except there isn’t an office and she finally admits that she doesn’t work for Universal. The cops arrest Murderer and charge her with filing a false report. Everyone in her family thinks that she’s guilty until her mother all of a sudden changes her mind and begins to defend her daughter. Mom wants authorities to trace down the baby sitter who, again, doesn’t exist. This bitch, sorry, Murderer is so crazy that she’s still sticking by her story. Both police and her own mother said the trunk of her car smelled like a dead body. You can contact the crazy, semi-attractive, murdering bitch here.

Casey Marie Anthony
08034750 ML-14
P.O. Box 4970
Orlando, FL 32802-4970

You have to give it to her, at least she’s consistent. Enjoy these completely unrelated photos of Carmen Electra and click my links, bitch.

Full details on the case of Casey ‘kinda hot murderer’ Anthony are right here
Whoa Momma!: Ashley Tisdale caught a giant fish. For real.
Why won’t New Kids on the Block just fade away forever?
Britney Spears’ bodyguard took these private bikini shots
Gretchen Wilson is a thief and the Black Crows are very angry

Posted in: Celebrity Train Wrecks, Fashion Statements

Tags: Carmen Electra

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Posted By: Shawn On: July 30, 2008
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For some reason, I’m all wrapped up in this random missing child case. You know the drill, semi-attractive 22-year-old reports a missing child and there seem to be more questions than answers. This time the story is set in Orlando and the mother’s name is Casey Anthony. I think I’d be more partial to calling her murderer rather than mother for the rest of this entry. So murderer steals her Mother’s car and money and Mom finally says ‘enough is enough’ and calls the cop on her daughter. Murderer then tells her mother that her 3-year-old daughter has be missing for 31 days. Mother and rest of Murderer’s family go bananas. Murderer begins new string of compulsive lies. She says the last time she saw her daughter was when she dropped her off at the baby sitter’s house 31 days earlier. Murderer names Zenaida Hernandez-Gonzalez as the baby sitter and says she has been friends with her for 5 years and has used her as a baby sitter for 1 1/2 years. One problem, Zenaida Hernandez-Gonzalez doesn’t exist. To be continued… Check out these photos of Tila Tequila in some looking slutty.

Some chick from the Sugarbabes looks kinda OK in a bikini
I almost posted these photos of Adriana Lima and her bra
Harry Potter is back and I guess some people are excited
I Got An 80%: Take the breast test and see how well you do
Gordon Ramsey is in trouble for talking about ‘Pussy’ drink

Posted in: Celebrity Train Wrecks, What A Jackass

Tags: Tila Tequila

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Posted By: Shawn On: July 30, 2008
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Leonard DiCaprio is actually a pretty decent actor. Call me a douche but I think Romeo and Juliet was a pretty bad ass movie. He was also good in Catch Me If You Can, The Beach, The Aviator and The Departed. Seeing as he blew a guy in Basketball Diaries, I’ll keep my distance from that one. Still, he’s a total douchebag who drives around in an electric car on the way to his private jet bitching about how much energy the rest of us folks are using up. He’s got a trillion dollars. He lives in mansions and travels the world and sleeps with chicks like Bar Rafaeli. He should be praying to God that Global Warming starts kicking our asses so that bitch will keep rockin’ a bikini 24/7/365. What I’m saying is, I’m jealous as hell of what the little bastard has managed to amass and these shots of Bar Rafaeli, Leonardo DiCaprio’s Supermodel sextoy, in St Tropez yesterday make me even more heated. Let’s try to appreciate the view and move on.

The Olsen Twins always wear the most bizarre clothing available
Oh God: Kanye West is getting a show on HBO sometime soon
Post-Pamela Tommy Lee is still bagging hot chicks every night
Fergie’s feet are not hot and neither are her rat ass shoes
Sideboobs Rule: Check out this massive gallery of celeb sideboobs

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, VS Bikini Madness

Tags: Bar Rafaeli, Bikini

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