Jessica Simpson Looks Like A Complete Lunatic

Posted By: Shawn On: June 11, 2008
Commented on 1 times

While Ashlee Simpson is doing well and preparing for her first child, the other Simpson bitch is failing miserably at life in general. She was snapped wandering outside her New York City hotel last night and she has that crazy look in her eyes. I’ve seen that look before. Years ago, I was sleeping on my friends couch and his live-in girlfriend disappeared. She didn’t show up for days, wouldn’t answer the phone and even her parents couldn’t find her. He was so worried that he filed a police report and made it clear that he thought she was either dead or kidnapped. I didn’t buy the story for a second because she was way too fat to get kidnapped and I didn’t think anyone would kill her. So, like five days later, I’m watching the Smurfs and nursing a killer hangover and this bitch walks in the door like nothing happened. She sits down next to me on the couch and I look at her face and vomit all over the just-steam cleaned floor. Seriously, I threw up everywhere. She had been strung out on crystal meth the whole time and her face looked like it served as the ring for some kind of UFC battle for cats. She was skinny as a rail and she smelled terrible. My friend ended up marrying this chick a few years later. Jessica Simpson looks exactly like her in these photos.